From cyberbullying to the Treyvon Martin case to the release of the documentary ‘Bully’, the theme of bullying, and particularly how it is tied to diversity and discrimination, has not only been bombarding the media but has been a topic of conversation in the halls of St. Paul’s. On Monday, April 2, Mr. Ponce gave a powerful presentation on the topic during assembly. Here is his speech:
For too long has the language of diversity revolved around the concept of tolerance, which is the willingness and ability to allow the existence of something with which we may not agree; think about that for a second, the ability to allow the existence of something with which we don’t agree. Or if we take it to a different realm, the medical definition is the ability to endure continued subjection to something without having an adverse reaction. Once again, let’s think about that for a second, enduring continued subjection without having adverse reactions. Does that sound like what we must do when when it comes to our brothers and sisters? Tolerate them? I personally don’t think so.
If we talk about tolerating our black students, then we are saying that while we may not agree with their blackness, we allow their existence. If we talk about tolerating our differences in religions, then we are saying that while we may not agree with your Judaism or Islamism, or Buddhism or Atheism, we allow your existence. This is an extremely pretentious concept if you ask me, and not only that, extremely offensive and narrow-minded. And if we think about it in the medical sense of the word, then we enter a completely different reality; by tolerating racial diversity we are then enduring their presence without adverse reactions. Adverse reactions? What could happen if I didn’t tolerate those who look, think, and act different than I do? Which by the way is every single one of you in this room, would I then become a little blacker? A little gayer? A little richer? A little whiter? A little more Jewish? A little more Muslim? A little straighter? If you ask me, that doesn’t sound so bad. If that is the adverse reaction I would get, then I would rather not tolerate them. Because learning from each other’s experiences is what makes navigating this world worth it. If we only focus on the world through our own lens then we would only get 0.0000000142% of the story. We are only one of 7 billion after all. We are already isolated enough as it is as individuals, as communities, as countries, as continents to make that isolation even greater by being pretentious enough to allow the existence of those with whom we may not agree. Who are we to decide what is right or wrong? And who are we to allow or deny existence?
Is being straight better than being gay? Some would say that yes, that it is, but if that were the case, and we were all straight then we would’ve never heard Tchaikovsky’s masterpieces or seen the Sistine Chapel or the Mona Lisa or read Oscar Wilde or even have such an iconic teacher in Dumbledore (both the character and the actor) as we did in the Harry Potter saga, I’m sure they didn’t feel like they were worse than their straight brethren. In many regards, they were better.
Is being white better than being black? Unfortunately, while it is not necessarily better, it sure is a lot easier to be a white young man or woman in this country that it is a black young man or woman. Their experiences are not marred by a history of tolerance, in which we, as a country, have allowed (and regrettably, in some cases denied) the existence of those who look different than us, who think different than us, who act different than us. But allowing existence does not equate to being respected, honored, embraced, affirmed and celebrated.
Imagine a United States without Louis Armstrong, without Nat King Cole, without Michael Jordan, without Beyoncé and Jay-Z, without Ray Rice, it just wouldn’t feel right. Not only are they Americans like most of you here, they are also black, and some regards better than their white counterparts. However, they also had to grow up in a country in which we are more quickly judged by the color of our skin than the value of our character, in which walking around in an affluent neighborhood while being not-white qualifies you as suspicious, because you know, you can’t possibly be black, or Hispanic, or Middle Eastern, and have money.
So today I challenge you to stop tolerating our differences. Let’s embrace those differences. Let’s take them up willingly and eagerly as part of our own experience, only then will we be able to look at one another and share a common ground. Love your neighbor as yourself right? Wrong, love your neighbor, as they would like to be loved, find out what that is like, put yourself in their shoes and see the world through their lens. You might learn a thing or two.